After the relationship is over and we are used to the companionship and we are in the dark, all alone. This is the worst of times. We are still experiencing rejection and not knowing if we will ever find love again. The last thing we can consider is that it is time to connect with ourselves. We are always seeking another person to make us feel whole.
I was used to have my wife beside me. Even if I was on my own in my thoughts, I always had her beside me when I came to bed. I used to feel security from having that. It was a sense of control and normalcy in a world that contained so many challenges. It was the most thing to get used to when she was no longer there. It took a long time to realize that she was just a comforting thought. I never considered what I would do if she was gone. When the divorce happened, I obtained an apartment when my house was being built. It was a choice for mew of where to live. I loved it when daylight was present. When the dark of night set in, I had an unbearable feeling that this was my reality forever. I dreaded night time. I tried to go to sleep as quickly as possible so I didn’t have to think about the divorce.
Over time, as I moved in to my house, I realized that loneliness was in me, not her. She was done with me. I would guess that her feelings at night did not match mine. I knew that I was just focusing on the wrong things. I realized if I focused on my passions and projects I would be focused on what matters to me. This realization saved me emotionally. I made a list of all the things I wanted to do in my ideal life. Once I engaged in activities that meant something to me, I noticed the evenings were much more enjoyable. I realized my focus was everything. I was investing in emotions that were dead. I went to being fully engaged in life and suddenly I knew that I had great things coming in life that had been hidden for so long.
You were whole before the relationship, whether you felt it or not. Social conditioning makes us feel that something is wrong with us if we are not in a relationship. This makes people move from one relationship to the next without ever considering what they want for themselves.
Start focusing on what you have versus what is missing. Life responds to our wants and visions. Have faith and trust that something around the corner will add to fulfillment. Always know that life continues. There are billions of people on the planet to connect with. Be in tune with yourself and loneliness fades out. A relationship is not meant to wipe out a sense of self. It is meant to have somebody there who compliments us, not replaces us. You complete you. Another person doesn’t complete you.