When I went through my divorce I was in a fog every day and felt like all I could do is think of my ex-wife and the good times. I was putting a bunch of energy to a woman who said she was done, and I can guarantee she wasn’t thinking about me in return. My loneliness transitioned into anger. “How could she leave a committed and loving husband and father?” “How can she just throw 26 years away?” These were the types of questions I asked myself over and over, and you can imagine the responses that came. Yes, they were terrible and self-victimizing. With poor questions come horrible answers.

I learned to disconnect from her shortly after that. I made the decision that I was going to start living MY life again. She had her life, and I needed mine back. I was reading Oprah’s book, What I Know for Sure, and a central theme was gratitude. I refined my list of everything I did not lose in my life and committed to read, and feel, my list each day in the morning and evening. I started smelling the coffee I was brewing and noticing how the warm cup in my hands. I did this for each experience. I used my senses to get myself engaged in the moment and it made a huge difference each day. The moments of hope and inspiration compounded and suddenly I wasn’t thinking about my divorce as much.

If you are overwhelmed, step back and take in the moment. Put a wall around yourself for a few minutes or an hour and just experience the moment you are in and have gratitude about all that is right in your world.